The Gender Friend
The Gender Friend
A 102 Guide to Gender Identity
If you lifted this book from the shelf, you’re probably interested in learning more about gender. You could be in the earliest stages of questioning, newly out, well into your transition, or an ally hoping to receive some extra tips and tricks. No matter your starting point, you’re in the right place.
Moving beyond pronouns, the basics of social and physical transition and how to be a good ally, this definitive guide explores the ins and outs of gender - from affirming language, how to explore and question gender, coming out to parents, finding gender euphoria, supporting loved ones and yourself, and advice on what not to say - to help you understand the nuances of gender and the lived realities of trans people. With self-reflective exercises, personal anecdotes and example scenarios, this book will teach you the secrets to becoming the best gender ally you can be.
Written by a young black queer trans adult, this empowering and contemporary guide is your “gender friend' who is ready to actively listen, advise you as needed, and provide you with support as you grow as an ally, or approach the next steps in your own unique gender journey. Welcome to the gender book you’ve been waiting for.
An approachable, personal story of growth and gender discovery that numerous readers will find themselves and their trans love ones reflected in. Oakley’s smooth, reflective narration helps make the often-intimidating process of gender exploration feel joyous and freeing.
Oakley brings authenticity, vulnerability, & humor, as they guide us through their individualized gender journey, while subsequently giving us the tools to be present & supportive of our fellow trans & gender diverse friends and family. Thank you for being our gender friend!
Oakley Phoenix is a most generous host and has support to offer every single person. I wish I’d had this book years ago.
Confused about gender? Oakley Phoenix’s book is just the friend you need. They kindly take you by the hand, openly share their own stories, and gently help you to navigate your own gender journey, and to support those around you as they navigate theirs.
Writing in the brilliant tradition of Kate Bornstein’s My Gender Workbook and Sonya Renee Taylor’s Your Body is Not an Apology, Oakley Phoenix transforms DIY gender into DIO (Do it Ourselves). A loving, critical guide to transformative self and community building that will prompt much reflection and many conversations.
Oakley "Oak" Phoenix is a queer black trans writer based in Salem, Oregon. They write a popular LGBTQ+ blog - theoaknotes - and their writing has also appeared in Psychology Today. The Gender Friend is their first book.
Introduction -Welcome!
1-Who am I?
2-What words should we be using?
3-How did I become Oak?
4-Let’s start thinking about your gender!
5-So, what’s your gender, Oak?
6-How do I create my gender euphoria?
7-Ignorance ain’t bliss- it’stime fora question break!
8-How can I support myself through a gender journey?
9-A mother’s point of view!
10-How can I support my loved one through their gender journey?
11-What not to say?
12- Putting it all together!
Conclusion-It’s been a pleasure and an honor.
Acknowledgments
Notes
Further Reading
